Well, it's been about two weeks now since my Aunt passed away and about 2 months since my Grandfather passed and I'm starting to heal and feel better emotionally. It's really only through the grace of God and good friends that I've been able to hope and make it through this ordeal. I've been transparent with the Lord and we've talked it out and I've voiced ALL of my thoughts and emotions to Him concerning this and other things. And I have to say, it's been very therapeutic to be completely and undeniably honest with our Father in Heaven. It's incredible how He's led me through the pain and suffering and granted me the grace to heal and move forward.

I'm not over this and some days it's so hard but I am starting to see the progression of healing take the place of the darkest emotions that I've ever felt in my life. He has granted me peace in knowing that we will meet again in Heaven and praise the Lord for all eternity with each other.

The other way in which the Lord has granted me peace is the fact that once you are in Heaven, you have no more regrets or thoughts of your life on Earth. It's all focused on praising God our Father and loving one another in a place that is nothing like Earth. No time... No tears... only happiness and joy as we enter into the Pearly gates to our eternal home.

Would love to hear from some of you about your thoughts.

Remembering Jamie

Jamie loved you so much, she talked about you all of the time, is what I heard my Aunt Linda say at her funeral on Saturday during intermittent rain and a whirl wind of friends and family. I can hardly believe that she's gone, but I know it's true. People were so sad at her funeral because they loved her so much. She made people laugh... her wit was unfailing even until the last day or so of her life on this earth. She was feisty too, and we loved her for it. We all loved her so very much that it's hard to imagine that she's gone. It is true, that you never know how much you miss someone until they're gone... this is especially true of Jamie. People tell me often, that I resemble her, and for that, I'm happy. They say, you both have a keen sense of wit and you make people laugh. I love that I have a lot of her attributes and I am honored to be likened to her. I love you Jamie and I miss you so very much. You were one of a kind and I know you're laughing in Heaven right now and for that, I have a wonderful hope of fellowshipping with you again for all eternity.

Dealing with Grief

One thing that I find extremely hard to deal with, especially right now, is the anticipation and knowing that someone you love is about to pass away and the other thing that is quite hard is the fact that you feel so helpless about the whole situation.

My Aunt Jamie has terminal colo/rectal cancer and has been sent home from the hospital to essentially die. What I found startling and angered me greatly was the fact that her physician told her and her husband that the most humane thing for her would be for a blood clot to dislodge and end her suffering early.

Wow! What a shock to me... the doctor just said that out loud to my Aunt and Uncle. Emotionless, with no hope, no prayer, nothing else we can do... we'll put you on Hospice and they'll help make sure you're comfortable and pain free till you die at home.

To compound matters, one month ago, their Father, my Grandfather (the one who raised me) passed away while on Hospice care. He was 83 and had pulmonary edema, a recend mild heart attack and the end stages of Alzheimer's disease. It was hard to see him suffer... he was a wonderful man and I love him dearly. He was a Christian and it gave me great hope to know where he was going when he passed. I'm glad he's not suffering any longer and in a better place.

So, all of this (Oh, forgot to mention, that my Mother also had a Massive heart attack 3 weeks ago along with my Ailing Aunt and they were both rushed to the hospital the same day) then released one day before their Father's funeral. Really upset the whole family, it's been a whole lotta grief and heaviness to bear. So, back to what I was about to say, all of this has just happened within the last 6 weeks. And, let's not forget to mention that My Grandmother (76 year old Ann) was attempting to tote a lawn chair out to a neighborhood gathering and fell on the side walk on her head. Multiple contusions and abrasions and a fractured collarbone. (she just got out last week from 1 week stint in the hospital) This is my Grandfather's widow. It's been one of the hardest things to deal with for me.

I've been attempting to deal with grief, not only for my Grandfather but the impending departure of my Aunt Jamie. I have to say the later is much harder to wrap my mind and emotions around than the former. I just think her life is being cut short and it's so sad for me to see this happening and I feel to helpless at this point as to what to do??

One thing that has saved me, is my faith and trust in the Lord. Wow, I can't even imagine attempting to deal with this stuff without the assurance of hope through our Savior Jesus Christ. It's really helped me tremendously to know Him and the peace that He offers.

But, I'd like to hear from some other folks out there about how you deal with Grief? I'm open to all comments, suggestions and notations on the subject.

My first blog

Now, I've gone and done it! I started a blog, my first blog!!!!!! I can't wait to upload photo's, chronicle my fun and creative lifestyle and most of all hear from all you wonderful people out there in Bloggerland!!